Take Control

I think that at some point, we all realize that it’s time to take control of our own lives.

This is your life. Why should you not be happy? There will always be times when it sucks. That’s life. Life wouldn’t be as miraculous and as wonderful as it is if we didn’t suffer at some point. You have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow. As corny (and horrible of a metaphor) as that is, it’s true. But that doesn’t mean you can’t take control.

I am tired of being in the passenger seat. My fortune cookies are even telling me that (truth. My fortune cookie from Panda Express said that I was now in the driver’s seat of my life, and we all know how legit those are).

I am tired of trying to be the good girl; the one who is always there to help and listen, the one people call when they need help. Some people use me. I know that, I’m not blind. I always thought “at least they knew they could rely on you”, but I’ve reached the point to where I don’t care anymore. I may be reliable, but if you aren’t going to be there for me then give me one good reason why I should be there for you.

I’m two weeks away from my second year of college ending and I have made some wonderful friends. In fact, I can’t name a single person that I’ve befriended that I wouldn’t want at my funeral. It’s the old friends that seem to never change that I’m going to have to let go.

Fall Out Boy said it best when they said “Sometimes before it gets better/the darkness gets bigger/the person you’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger”.

It sucks when you finally come to that realization. When it finally hits you, at first you’re kind of like “oh. Um, no?” and then, as it sinks in you accept it and it makes sense. After a while, once the process gets going, it’s freeing. It’s really a good thing.

That’s just my social life. I’ve decided that I’m also taking control of my health.

I’m not unhealthy, in fact my doctor says I’m doing well. I’m the wrong height for my weight (yay for being 4’11”), and that’s what I’m taking control of. I want to look adorable in the cute clothes I find on Pinterest. I’m proud of who I am, now I want the outside to reflect the inside. It sounds vain, but that’s alright. I’m not concerned about what other’s think.